Things Keep Blending Together

It's a sign of my aging brain, perhaps, or maybe of something in the world at large. But things keep blending together.

Several months ago a Mary Gaitskill novel merged with a memoir by A.M. Holmes as I read them both, becoming some kind of hybrid in my mind.

Now I am reading Margaret Atwood's dystopian novel "The Year of the Flood," which describes a fragmentary, broken civilization of the near future.

Today I read Edwidge Danticat in the New Yorker, talking about her family in Haiti, and I can't separate the two worlds. They are too similar. It's a little unnerving.

An excerpt:

Everyone sounded eerily calm on the phone. No one was screaming. No one was crying. No one said “Why me?” or “We’re cursed.” Even as the aftershocks kept coming, they’d say, “The ground is shaking again,” as though this had become a normal occurrence. They inquired about family members outside Haiti: an elderly relative, a baby, my one-year-old daughter.

I cried and apologized. “I’m sorry I can’t be with you,” I said. “If not for the baby—”

My nearly six-foot-tall twenty-two-year-old cousin—the beauty queen we nicknamed Naomi Campbell—who says that she is hungry and has been sleeping in bushes with dead bodies nearby, stops me.

“Don’t cry,” she says. “That’s life.”

“No, it’s not life,” I say. “Or it should not be.”

“It is,” she insists. “That’s what it is. And life, like death, lasts only yon ti moman.” Only a little while.

Kochalka Artifact

I found this on the floor today; an artifact from the day a couple years ago when James Kochalka visited Fergus' "Comics Club" at the library in Montpelier. It must have fallen out of our copy of "Pinky and Stinky" (a story of two space-traveling pigs). If I post this online do I have to pay him royalties?

Homage to 69 Love Songs

"The connection between the signifier and the signified is arbitrary."

-Ferdinand de Saussure

There was a time in the mid-90's when I could at least feebly banter about the significance of Ferdinand de Saussure to literary theory and modern thought. But I have long since dropped out of grad school, and if I dare say, Ferdinand de Saussure signifies something quite different to me these days.

In late 1999, back when my wife was pregnant with our first kid, I bought "69 Love Songs" by Magnetic Fields.

I listened to it a lot.

We lived in Seattle. The WTO riots spread to our neighborhood. Our baby was born. We moved to Vermont. And now that baby has turned ten.

Amazing.

In the last decade, no record has been on my turntable more often than "69 Love Songs." I return to it again and again. So cheers to Magnetic Fields, and cheers to evil genius Stephin Merritt, seen here in clay trying to kill de Saussure as Holland Dozier Holland look on (claymation apparently by Mr. Merritt himself):

Do You Belong Anywhere?

Bob Murray's Dog House parking lot, Seattle, January 14, 1994

"What does it mean to belong? If your town is changing beyond all recognition, and the things that you used--not only as a sort of physical landscape but as a moral landscape--are disappearing, are crumbling, are being passed-by by the new people who have come to the town, then what does it mean to belong? Do you belong there anymore? Do you belong somewhere else? Or do you belong anywhere? Do you belong in the past? What's in the future for you?"

--Billy Bragg, discussing England's white middle class and the upcoming theater performance "Pressure Drop".

More than anything this excerpt makes me think of Seattle in the late 1990's. Where do I belong? Not there; not anymore.

The Boy Turns Ten

The Boy Turns Ten:

Winter in VT

Winter in VT
Originally uploaded by baseballpajamas

-Rob (mobile)

Birthday Cake With Math (Fergus Turns 10)

Birthday Cake With Math (Fergus Turns 10)
Originally uploaded by baseballpajamas

-Rob (mobile)

Best Obituary Ever?

From "The World," a weekly newspaper published in Barre, Vermont.

The Boy Turns Ten

The Boy Turns Ten
Originally uploaded by baseballpajamas

...breakfast before school at Coffee Corner.

Turning Ten Tomorrow!

Turning Ten Tomorrow!
Originally uploaded by baseballpajamas

-Rob (mobile)

Prom Date?

Nostalgia
Originally uploaded by baseballpajamas

Maybe; I don't remember that far back.

Circa....1980?

January Morning

Today is tomorrow!! HELP

I woke this morning and found myself beginning to "follow" a Twitter feed that was mentioned yesterday by, of all people, the actor who plays "Dwight" on the US version of "The Office." What follows is an excerpt from this feed, "re-wound" to the turn of the New Year and moving forward. As a blog post, this is a long one. But I find the immediacy of this collection of dispatches to be…what is the word?

Well, it forms a kind of narrative that, despite its chaotic mixture of reportage and answering-of-questions-from-offstage, I find compelling. The writer is a man named Richard Morse, a musician who moved to Haiti in the mid-eighties (he has a Wikipedia entry) who now performs in a Haitian band called RAM. He also operates the Hotel Oloffson, in Port au Prince (PAP) which was apparently the inspiration for the fictional Hotel Trianon in Graham Greene's 1966 novel "The Comedians." We start this drama with a little publicity, a little mild social outrage, and a little joie de vivre. Then it becomes like something out of Max Beckmann. For those of you so inclined, Richard Morse can be found on Twitter as @RAMHaiti.

Note that all timestamps that appear in hours ("22 hours ago", etc) reflect the time and date I saved these entries (the morning of Thursday January 14th) so it says that entry was posted 22 hours ago then it was posted Wednesday morning.

• New Years Eve (THURSDAY) with RAM at the Hotel Oloffson; January 1, 2010 (HAITIAN INDEPENDENCE DAY) w/RAM GONAIVES; FREE CONCERT 8:29 AM Dec 29th, 2009 from web
  
• Happy New Year Everybody!!! Chillin with RAM @ the O....19 Years Old 12:32 AM Jan 1st from web
  
• it's 5:20am...do you know where u are??? 5:20 AM Jan 3rd from web
  
• ANTI-HAITIAN CULTURE: Disney's Princess and the Frog portrays Haitian roots as evil.. How do you fight DISNEY??... Where do you start?? 10:41 AM Jan 3rd from web
  
• Got the winter blues?..learn Haitian dance (folklore) at the Oloffson Hotel tonight, Wednesday, with the RAM RHYTHM SECTION..6:30 pm..sharp 8:49 AM Jan 6th from web
  
• It's not early unless it's dark outside and it's not late unless it's light!!@winnielours 7:41 AM Jan 10th from web
  
• THE LAST RAM REHEARSAL BEFORE GOING TO THE STUDIO...FIRST SUNDAY AFTER LES ROIS..IT'S OFFICIAL...IT BEGINS TODAY..LE CARNAVAL 2010 10:39 AM Jan 10th from web
  
• sometimes I wonder if there's anyone out there that wants to come to the video shoot.... the secret video shoot at the unspecified location 11:42 AM Jan 12th from web
  
• THE BUS leaves Saturday morning to unspecified location, comes back Sunday; filming takes place Sat & Sunday@fredodupoux 1:34 PM Jan 12th from web
  
• were ok at the oloffson..internet is on !! no phones ! hope all are okay..alot of big building in PAP are down ! 6:23 PM Jan 12th from web
  
• there is a tsunami alert ! everyone stay safe !! fires seem to also be burning in downtown PAP 6:25 PM Jan 12th from web
  
• Just about all the lights are out in Port au Prince.. people still screaming but the noise is dying as darkness sets. 6:33 PM Jan 12th from web
  
• lot's of rumors about which buildings were toppled..The Castel Haiti behind the Oloffson is a pile of rubble..it was 8 stories high 6:34 PM Jan 12th from web
  
• Our guests are sitting out in the driveway.. no serious damage here at the Oloffson but many large buildings nearby have collapsed 6:36 PM Jan 12th from web
  
• people are praying in groups..others are looking for relatives..no phone service..no electricity 6:37 PM Jan 12th from web
  
• I'm told that parts of the Palace have collapsed..the UNIBANK here on Rue Capois has collapsed 6:38 PM Jan 12th from web
  
• people are bringing people by on stretchers 6:39 PM Jan 12th from web
  
• they say it was a magnitude 7.0 earthquake..there are tsunami warnings here and in the Caribbean 6:40 PM Jan 12th from web
  
• two helicopters have flown over head an hour ago but nothing since then 6:41 PM Jan 12th from web
  
• Port au Prince is dark except for a few fires 6:41 PM Jan 12th from web
  
• A huge hospital that was being built across from the Oloffson has collapsed 6:42 PM Jan 12th from web
  
• we're ok..a little freaked out but ok..every one is hanging out outside on the driveway @mannysister 7:27 PM Jan 12th from web
  
• Phones are starting to work..got a call from some one who's house fell in, child is hurt but ok. . 7:30 PM Jan 12th from web
  
• people are needing medical supplies..food, housing; I don't know water situation; 7:37 PM Jan 12th from web
  
• another aftershock..people are screaming and freaking out down towards the stadium..much singing and praying in large numbers 7:45 PM Jan 12th from web
  
• there are still aftershocks... 8:00 PM Jan 12th from web
  
• people in large numbers are singing prayers downtown 8:31 PM Jan 12th from web
  
• another aftershock!!! 8:33 PM Jan 12th from web
  
• another aftershock..a little longer..much screaming downtown..this is going to be a long night 8:37 PM Jan 12th from web
  
• I'm writing from the Hotel Oloffson in Port au Prince Haiti@JaimeSerra 8:38 PM Jan 12th from web
  
• It's 8:44PM and we're still getting aftershocks!!I can hear people gathered in the distance singing prayers 8:45 PM Jan 12th from web
  
• Daniel Morel, professional photographer says he cannot believe what he saw today. His old house near Grand Rue looks like it was bombed 8:47 PM Jan 12th from web
  
• Family and I seem to be ok but we're very concerned..Prayers in distance are getting louder and more emotional 8:52 PM Jan 12th from web in to DashingDivaDomo
  
• My mom just showed up at the Oloffson..sigh of relief!! 8:58 PM Jan 12th from web
  
• Hotel Christopher and Montana are flattened from an eye witness 9:06 PM Jan 12th from web
  
• singing and prayers are becoming more invigorated 9:08 PM Jan 12th from web
  
• the singing and praying is getting more intense..you have to believe!! From what I'm hearing, this is worse than anyone is imagining 9:18 PM Jan 12th from web
  
• If the Montana Hotel and the Hotel Christopher are gone, I don't know where UN leadership is 9:19 PM Jan 12th from web
  
• Too much..have to take a break 9:47 PM Jan 12th from web
  
• just saw a picture of the palace..it is destroyed 10:03 PM Jan 12th from web
  
• when my batteries die I will no longer be able to communicate..it's going to be a long night..our prayers go out to everyone 10:12 PM Jan 12th from web
  
• heard rumor about hospital collapsing but don't know @ayitihs 10:14 PM Jan 12th from web
  
• we're back on line..went to St Gerard Church..people are trapped in the school..others are dead in the rubble about 23 hours ago from web
  
• there is no police presence..there is no UN presence in the Carrefour Feuilles area..people are trying to take care of themselves about 23 hours ago from web
  
• rows of buildings have collapsed..there is no sign of official help anywhere in this area about 23 hours ago from web
  
• People are calm, trying to help each other...others are visiting people to see if they are ok...some are digging bodies out of buildings about 23 hours ago from web
  
• Everyone slept outside last night..people are afraid of remaining inside buildings..as i walked the streets i see bodies about 23 hours ago from web
  
• I saw a couple of helicopters twice today but there is no sign that the international presence is helping the population about 23 hours ago from web
  
• http://twitpic.com/xxtrc - Everyone ok at the Hotel Oloffson. Jan. 13 2010 about 22 hours ago from TwitPic
  
• http://twitpic.com/xxu18 - Castel Haiti is down..was 8 stories high about 22 hours ago from TwitPic
  
• People are buried in the St Gerard School by St Gerard Church..we heard voices in the rubble.I saw bodies..no official vehicles in area about 22 hours ago from web
  
• too many private homes of the poor are destroyed..no way of counting them all..people are sitting in the streets trying to take it all in about 22 hours ago from web
  
• all my guests slept in the driveway last night..people came up from the streets thinking they were bodies.. neighbors helping neighbors about 22 hours ago from web
  
• there are going to be shortages of food, water, medical supplies.. partially buried bodies will create health issues soon about 22 hours ago from web
  
• 12:55PM, 13 Jan 2010..I am hearing the siren of an ambulance for the first time as I right this note.. about 22 hours ago from web
  
• we still feel occasional tremors here but they're not that strong..no electricity..no logistical support to speak of.. about 22 hours ago from web
  
• I see bodies in the street..I see bodies buried in rubble..there are going to be food, medical supply and water issues.. decomposing bodies about 22 hours ago from web
  
• When the earthquake first hit I felt like I was trying to surf for the first time..it didn't want to stop.. about 22 hours ago from web
  
• I'm beginning to hear helicopters more often now.. I predict massive emmigration.. no homes, no jobs,no medical treatment.disaster about 22 hours ago from web
  
• If your home is destroyed and your workplace is destroyed and your neighborhood is destroyed..then what? about 21 hours ago from web
  
• what are the poor supposed to do..no homes, no jobs,no savings..no medical attention.bodies half buried nearby about 21 hours ago from web
  
• I don't think that RAM will be performing this Thursday..but bless you for asking.. about 21 hours ago from web
  
• It will be dark again soon..we haven't advanced much in the last day..there goes another helicopter..three journalists just checked in about 21 hours ago from web
  
• my internet got real slow..I'm going to turn it off for a few minutes about 20 hours ago from web
  
• another tremor...7:22PM..the praying has begun..outdoors..loud and energetic.Beni Swa Leternel!!!.So many churches have been destroyed about 18 hours ago from web
  
• I heard some roosters and some birds in the trees this afternoon..first time since yesterday..Journalists r checking into the hotel about 18 hours ago from web
  
• singing..praying..clapping hands..the sun is setting..another night of darkness..death is all around.everyone has seen death..destruction about 18 hours ago from web
  
• My time is off..it was 17:22 not 7:22..I suspect we'll sleep outside again..everyone ran outside with that last tremor @PhillipM about 18 hours ago from web
  
• I work with the band RAM and at the Hotel Oloffson..I don't know if Im a local..I've been here since 1985..I guess I'm local @alguve about 18 hours ago from web
  
• People that came in from the airport are saying that there are bodies strewn about on the streets. I don't know what to make of that about 17 hours ago from web
  
• the collapsed houses and buildings are 2 much to take in at once.hearing singing and praying in the background. darkness is setting in about 17 hours ago from web
  
• I suspect most people are going to be sleeping outside tonight.there is a fear of buildings throughout the area.as darkness settles in about 17 hours ago from web
  
• phones aren't working.all i can say is keep trying.sometimes you get lucky @kidranger about 17 hours ago from web
  
• It's begining to rain about 17 hours ago from web
  
• I just got a reservation cancellation for the hotel.... about 17 hours ago from web
  
• The rain has stopped..that was quick about 17 hours ago from web
  
• Bodies are being put by the side of the Canape Vert road so friends and relatives can come pick them up about 17 hours ago from web
  
• If people lose their homes and they lose their work places and there is no way to feed themselves, then whats next?? about 17 hours ago from web
  
• people have remained very calm and helpful..once more,as the sun sets, the singing begins,the night brings uncertainty about 17 hours ago from web
  
• The St Gerard Church has a school behind it that collapsed.I heard someone speaking from the rubble, feet were trapped he couldn't get out about 17 hours ago from web
  
• I couldn't get into the space to get him out.i saw,police,told them,they weren't concerned.I've tweeted about it.I'mreaching out about 17 hours ago from web
  
• I saw no priests at the St Gerard Church,a few people out front,some nuns,I saw lifeless legs in the rubble about 17 hours ago from web
  
• The praying and singing is getting louder..more and more people are gathering..so much suffering..so much destruction about 17 hours ago from web
  
• I wonder if some other part of town is getting logistical support..Is this a Green zone/Red zone issue??? about 17 hours ago from web
  
• A priest came to see me..I asked him why so many churches collapsed..he left without an answer..God works in mysterious ways about 17 hours ago from web
  
• I haven't seen all my band mates yet.I haven't seen all my employees yet.someone came by asking for one of my receptionists.not a good sign about 17 hours ago from web
  
• I hear help is coming....tomorrow about 16 hours ago from web
  
• I guess there's no way to anticipate an earthquake though I remember recently hearing about another one farther up the coast about 16 hours ago from web
  
• a lot of collapsed houses in this area but don't get your hopes down..lots of victims but lots of survivors @TiTetChaje about 16 hours ago from web
  
• we seem to be surviving..candles and a few batteries..once our pipes get fixed we'll turn on the water @manno76 about 16 hours ago from web
  
• I'm guessing no dance classes tonight.I forgot it was wednesday @bhatiap about 16 hours ago from web
  
• There is no electricity at the Oloffson Hotel..there are 6 journalists crowded around this desk writing and filing @bapartofmylife about 16 hours ago from web
  
• the group praying has quieted down is this part of town..but the suffering continues about 16 hours ago from web
  
• Time magazine is printing out of date photos and trying to pass them off for today about 15 hours ago from web
  
• Time magazine is mis-crediting photos about 15 hours ago from web
  
• tremor!!! about 15 hours ago from web
  
• hundreds of people have gathered in Place Jeremie to spend the night..SLEEPING INDOORS IS NOT THE TREND!! about 15 hours ago from web
  
• The praying and singing has quieted down..people are outdoors waiting patiently for....whatevers next about 15 hours ago from web
  
• NBC No interviews Twitter only @NBCKatie about 15 hours ago from web
  
• Night has fallen..the night seems to take so long..I guess those that are buried alive in the rubble are feeling it the worst..Prayers.. about 14 hours ago from web
  
• I saw a collapsed building today..it may have been 8 or 9 stories.it looked like 8 or 9 pieces of bread one on top of the other..survivors? about 14 hours ago from web
  
• I've only heard one or two shots all day..I'm inside right now..i'll listen @CrazyColin1 about 14 hours ago from web
  
• I haven't heard any numbers, but then again I'm not sure there's a census here @rodrigo_david13 about 14 hours ago from web
  
• I charge guests for the rooms but we sleep outside on the driveway!! about 14 hours ago from web
  
• I'm trying to find a positive point of view and all i can come up with is: a lot of people didn't die. about 13 hours ago from web
  
• Port au Prince is quiet tonight. I've never heard such a big city so quiet..I assume everybody is sleeping outside somewhere.. about 13 hours ago from web
  
• If you just came in from NY or Canada, you might think it's warm here but 4 us it's the dead of winter.Prayers 4 those alive in the rubble about 13 hours ago from web
  
• we're coping okay..been through a lot here during the last twenty or so years.most of my guests r used to "events" @MsTLForte about 13 hours ago from web
  
• I hear NO GUNFIRE in Port au Prince. The singing is starting up again @jrbz88 about 13 hours ago from web
  
• Caitlinisalive http://twitpic.com/y0824 - @RAMhaiti - this is a picture of the destroyed Hotel Montana about 12 hours ago from TwitPic ed by RAMhaiti and 34 others
  
• capitano1989@RAMhaiti I'm sorry to inform you but acording to colombian media the Montana Hotel has collapsed and around 200 people are burried under it about 12 hours ago from web ed by RAMhaiti and 22 others
  
• I look at the sky,see the stars, and it's as if nothing was wrong. the singing, the praying and the siren bring me back to reality..Haiti about 12 hours ago from web
  
• I don't like the way CNN is spinning this thing.What shooting? Not in Port au Prince..Not this side of town.maybe looking for ratings about 12 hours ago from web
  
• we slept out under the stars tonight..PortauPrince was very quiet.the suffering isn't loud.no shooting.at some point people will need help about 6 hours ago from web
  
• The last time my guests all slept together was when the Haitian army was shooting journalists after the election massacre of Nov. 1987 about 6 hours ago from web
  
• People are starting to wake up.I hear individual voices in the distance,some are moans,some are wails,some is just communication..a cock about 6 hours ago from web
  
• Twitter is a new haiku way of covering events: no food.no help equals trouble.People are going to need help soon;today is tomorrow!! HELP!! about 5 hours ago from web
  
• We need help with the rubble,help with medical supplies,help with food,water,the singing and praying has begun.God help us all about 5 hours ago from web
  
• 5:49AM the singing and praying has begun.we won't begin to understand all that is going on around us for some time to come about 5 hours ago from web
  
• It was a quiet night.in and out of sleep.I heard a man on a microphone but don't remember what he he said.international journalists arriving about 5 hours ago from web
  
• the hospital across the street is putting bodies out on the street.decomposition.we need portable morgues.generators.food.help.evacuation about 5 hours ago from web
  
• No homes,no jobs.death.no where to turn.people caught in the rubble.my sleep was peaceful.now I'm awake.reality sets in.sun is about 2 rise about 5 hours ago from web
  
• People have been good,helpful,calm..at some point, hunger,thirst,despair will set in.Portable morgues are needed..medical supplies about 5 hours ago from web
  
• the devastation is so widespread that the folks(UN/POLICE) who should be helping, are probably taking care of their own issues. about 5 hours ago from web
  
• with everything closed.money.food,drinks,supplies.rotting bodies,frustration,impatience,despair will all become a problem about 5 hours ago from web
  
• Elfiem@RAMhaiti Very glad all ok at the Oloffson...do Twitterers know it was the inspiration for Hotel Trianon in Graham Greene's 'The Comedians'? about 4 hours ago from web in to RAMhaiti ed by RAMhaiti and 1 other
  
• The streets are now Haiti's living room and bedroom @isabelahorta about 4 hours ago from web
  
• A journalist came over from the DR in the middle of the night. they opened the gate for him w/o checking passport or papers @alicesmeets about 4 hours ago from web
  
• It seems that wooden structures faired better than concrete structures about 4 hours ago from web
  
• I haven't seen anyone from the UN since before the quake, I believe the building w/Brazillian embassy collapsed, unconfirmed @isabelahorta about 4 hours ago from web
  
• tremor!! about 4 hours ago from web
  
• There were a lot of "water rising" rumors last night. I think it came from the previous day's Tsunami warning about 2 hours ago from web
  
• I hear planes;supplies are supposed to start coming in tday;I hope the intrnational presence will help with people buried in rubble &med sup about 2 hours ago from web
  
• Portable morgues;medical supplies;generators;food, to name a few of the necessities about 2 hours ago from web
  
• If people lose their homes and their jobs will they start to emigrate?? about 2 hours ago from web
  

Fuckhead Quote of the Week

"Something happened a long time ago in Haiti, and people might not want to talk about it. They were under the heel of the French. You know, Napoleon III, or whatever. And they got together and swore a pact to the devil. They said, we will serve you if you'll get us free from the French. True story. And so, the devil said, okay it's a deal....ever since, they have been cursed by one thing after the other."

-Pat Robertson, on "The 700 Club"

It's True, I Like My Chickens

A couple of hens (the yellow one is called "Lemon Cake"). Five eggs today so far.

Live-Blogging: It's Like Being There

For those of you who missed the last three minutes of the Patriots game, I live-blogged it for you over here.

Agent Comedy: The Gates of Death

Found under a chair:

A movie-poster-like drawing (Titled "Agent Comedy: The Gates of Death") by my son of a sneering guy holding a smoking gun; behind him is a menacing maw of some kind, with a ramp leading up to it. On the flip side of the paper is this cast listing (how does my 9-year-old know who these people are?):

CAST

Jackie Chan as The Jester
Beyonce as The White Skeleton
Harrison Ford as Dave
Scott Shambliss as Agent Swipe
Eric Bana as the Grim Reaper
Jack Black as Agent Chase
Skeleton Controllers: Karl Urban, Anton Yelchin
Michael Gambon as DJ
Stuart Craig as The Crown Knight

...Not really my kind of film, but if Michael Gambon is in it maybe I'll go see it....